Smiles brighten up even the darkest day..and banish zombies

Today I have been in reflective mode...Mostly observing that it is amazing how that little curl of the lips, particularly if accompanied by a chuckle or gurgle can take lift you from the depths of despair into glorious sunny optimism.

Those magical, yet fleeting moments are what makes the other million gritty newborn experiences worth it. For every blood-curdling, air-raid siren style cry that demands immediate attention  at 4am (lest your little ones head turns into something resembling a weeping beetroot), there is a tiny smile of recognition that precludes automatic and eternal forgiveness. It seems be to hard wired into our prehistoric beings that streams of vomit, resulting in a code red..all hands on deck scenario, will be erased from our hearts after perhaps a life-affirming snugly cuddle on the chest or a gurgle of pure joy.

 I have been reflecting that these positive memories are like the performance enhancing drugs that got Lance Armstrong his Tour de France wins, enabling him to attain super-human levels of speed and endurance ( albeit illegally and shamefully); one must simply somehow mentally bank and log these wonderful baby moments and call them up when stamina fails and emotional zombie function kicks in. As a bonus there are no illicit dealers, cash or injections involved either!

 NB. Emotional zombie mode is...as it sounds..pretty scary. I look and act like the waking dead, capable of roaring with rage, weeping and even biting heads off without provocation in my quest to survive. Best avoided.

The zombie is also a fitting analogy because, as I have learnt from zombiepedia..yes really..and I quote directly, "a zombie is a person who has lost his or her sense of self-awareness and identity, and cares only for the destruction (and often consumption) of any human around, no matter what the circumstances, or cost to his or her self. They make up for this loss of intelligence in sheer numbers, as the state of zombieism is almost always contagious, and spreads like wildfire." (Hence perhaps why I am drawn to and largely socialise with other new mothers who can empathise!!)

Anyway, I personally feel like the old PMA technique, that's positive mental attitude... (first cited in that 90s washing powder advert starring Linford Christie. WTF!!..why do I know that??) is one I have underemployed in my armoury of weapons and coping techniques that I have thus far demployed in my fight against exhaustion and anxiety.

So next time I hit the wall, either literally or metaphorically, I am going to envisage a smile on my daughters face and for added fortitude I will be burbling a song from Annie (the musical...another 80s thang!)..."the sun will come out tomorrow, so you better hang on til tomorrow, come what may.' Hopefully you won't be within range to suffer my terrible singing, but I'm sure all around me would be grateful to see the zombie returned to its dark grave for good.

Full lyrics for below...so you can sing with me if you like... 

The sun'll come out, 

Tomorrow

Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!