Life is like a game of snakes and ladders...

Perhaps I'm looking at my former life through rose tinted spectacle, but I miss making progress. I also miss being in control, or at least the illusion of control! I could have sworn that even when life pre-baby (PB) was tough, being me meant living out that human instinct of 'onwards and upwards'. Thus even when faced with the interminable scree slopes at the top of Kilimanjaro ( feel free to imagine an alternative mountain of your choosing in Wales...if Kenya is a leap too far), where in the bitter cold at 5am you lose half of every step you take...somehow you still make it to the summit, the glorious dawn view a just reward for your efforts.

Am not sure how it's meant to work with babies,  but it doesn't feel like climbing a mountain. More like a giant game of snakes and ladders, where if you have a 100 numbered squares it doesn't matter how much progress you've made, be it reaching 28 or 97,....there is still that giant python lurking on the horizon, analogous to a perfect storm of teething or that latest stomach bug, ready to throw you mercilessly back to square 2. 

True you also get ladders in this childish game. You can celebrate your munchkin rolling from front to back for the first time (standing ovation please), your first glorious giggle ( which truly melts the heart), the arrival of the jumperoo (a.k.a circle of neglect) or a bonus 6hr stretch of unbroken sleep ( love those immunisations). These are indeed magical, amazing moments to be cherished. 

However it's all rather more like a game or lottery that I'm used to. My life is now less the meritocratic 'no pain, no gain' and more 'roll the dice and see what happens'. I miss being in control and I miss a degree of predictability, where if I plan well I reap the rewards.

Right now, if you don't plan well quite honestly you don't stand a chance...but it seems unjust that you can do almost everything right and then another variable leaps up to bite you in the behind. Thoughts on a postcard please.